There’s a common misconception that a couple should avoid fighting at all costs. This is just not true. Some arguments are actually healthy for a couple to engage in. Here are a few friendly disagreements that may actually make your relationship stronger.
1. The supportive fight
Is your partner about to give up on their dream? Are they feeling discouraged because they aren’t picking up a new skill as quickly as they wanted? Your significant other may think you’re nagging, but it’s your responsibility not to let them give up. Even if they resent this encouragement and if things get heated, it’s worth it in order to maintain your position as cheerleader and supporter.
2. The financial fight
Most of us have a budget that we work with. However, having a budget and following a budget are often two different things. If you and your partner have yet to discuss financial priorities (i.e. needs vs. wants, discretionary vs. non-discretionary expenses), it’s about time you two got together to discuss these important issues. It’s also the best time to tell your partner the things you don’t appreciate about their spending habits. The best way to resolving this type of argument is by creating your budget together and holding weekly budget meetings to make sure that you’re staying on track.
3. The misunderstanding fight
Sometimes fights break out suddenly because one partner feels misunderstood or unheard. These arguments, while they may seem frustrating at the time, are actually incredibly valuable as they provide an opportunity for couples to clear up any resentful feelings or hurt that may have been festering for a while. It also gives you a chance to work on your communication methods and work on finding strategies to improve them.
4. The family fight
The topic of family tends to evoke lots of strong emotions. When it comes to your collective relationship with your extended family, it’s important that healthy boundaries are established. However, each member in the relationship may have differing ideas of what these boundaries should be. The two of you might have different ideas of what is considered an acceptable relationship with your extended family, but it’s important that you do take time to discuss these boundaries. When having this type of fight, just make sure to avoid being too critical of your partner’s family. You may not love everything about your in-laws, but this does not give you an excuse to attack them.
5. The domestic duties fight
Unless you’re living in the past and your roles are as clearly defined as a 1950s sitcom couple, you’re likely going to have to sit down and determine who’s responsible for each household chore. This type of discussion can get especially heated when there is a certain task that neither person wants to take on. Compromise is the key to resolving this type of argument. The reality is that nobody particularly loves to do chores, but even the worst ones (bathroom cleaning, anyone) aren’t worth causing relationship tension. Once your respective chores have been delegated, it’s important that you encourage and support each other as you work to develop a healthy household routine that both of you can agree with.