You may think that America is the land of the free, but the strange sex laws we found would beg to differ. In fact, in many states, partners are not very free with their sex lives if they adhere to state legislation! Read on to see some of the weird laws that may ruin your love life:

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Arizona and Georgia

It’s illegal to have more than two dildos in a house in Arizona. So if you like to have a variety of these sex toys, watch out! Arizona is more lenient than Georgia, however. All sex toys are banned in that southern state!

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Colorado and Hartford, Connecticut

A man is not allowed to kiss his wife on a Sunday. Better get all the affection out on Saturdays! On the plus side, it sounds like if you’re a woman married to another woman or a man married to another man, this rule need not apply!

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Delaware

Getting married on a dare is justification for annulment in Delaware, so you'd better make sure you’re serious about each other if you’re going to get hitched.

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Florida

Florida has a whack of love-related laws:

  • Have you ever wanted to parachute on a nice Sunday afternoon? Sorry, unmarried ladies. You’ll have to do it another day of the week (or get married) or you risk arrest, fines and jailing!
  • Do you like to mix things up in bed with different positions? Hopefully not if you live in Florida. Only missionary position is legal!
  • You can’t kiss your wife’s breasts.
  • Finally, oral sex is illegal.

Hopefully you aren’t too exploratory in the bedroom if you live here!

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Alabama

A cringe-inducing sex law allows incestuous marriages in Alabama.

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Massachusetts, North Carolina, Washington DC, Virginia (among others)

Like Florida, Massachusetts and North Carolina want to control what you and your partner get up to in the bedroom. A woman is not allowed on top during any sexual activity in Massachusetts, and in North Carolina, Washington DC, Virginia, etc. sex must occur in the missionary position.

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New York

Do you ever see a cute guy or gal walking down the street and want to strike up a flirty conversation? You’re out of luck in the Big Apple unless you’re willing to pay a $25 fine if caught!

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Dallas, Texas

In Dallas, dildos are only allowed if they’re not realistic.

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18 States (incl. Kansas, Utah and Florida)

In 18 states oral sex and a visible erection through a man's pants are illegal!

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Georgia

Are you engaging or have you engaged in premarital sex? Too bad if you live in Florida, because it’s illegal!

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Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

It’s illegal to have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth.

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Newcastle, Wyoming

Couples cannot have sex while standing inside a store’s walk-in meat freezer. We have to wonder what happened that made this law necessary…

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California

My personal favorite: in Bakersfield, California you must wear a condom while having sex with Satan. Good to know. California also wants sexual partners to be considerate of each other – it’s illegal for either partner to reach climax before the other during foreplay.

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Michigan

If you’re in Michigan and want to show some love for your partner in public, you may be breaking the law! “Open and gross lewdness” is banned in the state.

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We wish we could say that this was a full and comprehensive list of all the sex laws in America, but there are many more out there! If you want to see what laws you may be breaking, chances are your state is on the list!