Do you turn green every time your partner looks at his or her phone? Or when they say they have to work late or want to go out with their friends? Chances are, your jealousy isn't doing your relationship any good. Instead, it is likely ruining it. No one wants to feel like they are being constantly judged or watched. And you know this. But still, you can't seem to find a way to trust your spouse or get over your constant fear of being cheated on. Below are some tips to help you get back your confidence and, hopefully, help your relationship blossom instead of die.
1. Ask Yourself
Am I being a Jealous Monster? - If you are constantly starting little arguments or saying negative things to your partner, you should ask yourself why you feel so angry. Chances are you are jealous about something but instead of talking about it, you hold it in. If you can acknowledge your jealous feelings and talk openly about them with your partner, you will feel better. In fact, he or she will likely make you feel that your jealousy isn't warranted at all.
2. Friends Perspective
The next time you're feeling jealous try looking at it from the perspective of your best friend. If you were your friend and heard about a certain situation, how would you react. Would you think your friend is acting totally psycho or reasonable? If you are able to put some distance between you and your relationship, you will be able to look at it more clearly.
3. How Good It Really Is
The next time you think your spouse is flirting, try to remember what it is that you have with him or her. You have a relationship – not just a flirty conversation. You have a history and you need to remember that person is with you for a reason. A lot of people flirt and many don't even know they are doing it. Flirting with someone doesn't mean a sexual relationship is going to occur or that your partner is going to leave you.
4. Your Own Fear
Your fear of your spouse cheating could be just that – an unwarranted fear. If you are so afraid of something happening you will always be looking for signs that it is happening. And that will get extremely exhausting. So enjoy the relationship you have and stop searching for something that isn't there. If someone is cheating, chances are it will eventually come out anyway.
5. Past Relationships
If you have been cheated on in the past you are likely very sensitive to any sign that your current partner is cheating on you. But you have to leave the past in the past. Your new partner has nothing to do with any past partner that may have treated you badly. There is a reason those past relationships didn't work out. But now you have this one. So don't ruin it by constantly looking for something that isn't there.
6. You Are Deserving
Much of our jealousy comes from being insecure with ourselves and not feeling that we deserve love. You may have fears of being abandoned or rejected. But you are deserving of all that love has to offer. And the person you are with now sees that. They are with you because they love you – all of you. So believe in yourself and in your relationship. Build up your self-esteem and become the confident person you know you really are.
7. Don't Compare
When we compare ourselves to other people we are setting ourselves up for jealousy. But even the most beautiful celebrities in the world have struggles that you don't see. Instead of focusing on your shortcomings, think about all the positive qualities you have. Know that no one is perfect and concentrate on being the best person you can be. When you are confident in yourself, your relationship will seem stronger and healthier.
8. Do The Opposite
The next time you feel a major rush of jealousy setting in, try doing the opposite of what a jealous person would do. If your partner is talking to someone else, join in the conversation in a friendly way. When a friend tells you he or she wants to spend time with someone else, try recommending a good restaurant they can go to. If someone gets the job you wanted, congratulate them and offer to help. You'll feel much better about yourself in the end.